Category Archives: Uncategorized

Post 10: Candles (To Paint List 5/5 )

With this my 5 painting project is over . Will soon post the pic of the 5 paintings together.

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Oil on Canvas 8X10″

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Is Well Begun Half Done?

It’s been exactly one month and I am not able to finish the projects which I had taken as a challenge. In euphoria, I had called up my five friends and asked them to give me different ideas to paint. So I have in total five painting to do and all I could do in past month is to start only three. Now I am hiding from the three under-paintings lying on the shelf .

Inspired by our beloved PM I also got a yoga mat and after 15 days of surya namaskar I switched to HIIT. Even that didn’t last long. One day my alarm didn’t ring and I slept off. Till this day I am sleeping. My sedentary lifestyle has made me sick of each and every thing. After 8 hours of seating job, I feel like running away to a far far place…. just like Forest Gump.

Also this mid-life crisis is making me feel worthless. I have so many ideas floating all around me but the kick is missing. Sometimes I search for motivation in TED Talks, sometimes in Blogs/Vlogs and sometimes in books, but nothing works because we all know that ‘It works only if you work’.

I think it’s time to fix my alarm!!!!

Post 5 : Fish ( To-Paint List -1/5)

I finished the painting and I was wondering why I chose fish. There had to be a reason. Sometimes the sub conscious mind takes very smart sensible decisions. I realized that the fins of the fish are so delicate and  the translucency of the fins are so challenging to paint.

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Oil on panel 6″X8″

Now that I mentioned the fins,  I see so much scope of improvement and learning. I  think I should do a series of fishes.

Here is the step – to -step of this painting :

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This painting took me 2 hrs, stretched over a period of three days as it has been done on weekdays.

Post 4: Wild Lilly is off the easel.

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Oil on Canvas 12×16″

Post 1: Butterfly Series 4/4

Final Butterfly of the series.

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Oil on Canvas 

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Complete series 

Week 25:Messing up with White

I am very uncomfortable with white so at times I just experiment with the colour.

Week 24: Portrait

Oil on Canvas (6″X 8″)

Week 22-23: A place called Home.

Past two weeks I didn’t get much time to sit down, think and write. The blame would primarily go to my bougainvillea aka Banyan tree which again failed to bloom this month.  After last month’s failure to do anything productive I had started watering the plant, and pruning it regularly. But I was surprised to find out that it was not blooming at all and so wasn’t my blog. Later I realized that this peculiar plant when showered with excessive love & care i.e. water, space and continuous pruning tends to go into a vegetative state, it requires certain harsh conditions to bloom!!!

Talking of blooming reminds me of sowing-reaping cycle in one’s life. My dad superannuated this year, or rather say was forced to superannuate because my grandfather had messed up with his age while getting him an admission in the local school.  Cursing my grandfather’s poor memory, my mother also opted for VRS. So after playing their first inning they were left with the biggest task of one’s life time- Build their own house. In this humongous task, I was expected to act like the son they never had and stand next to them to build their “dream house”. My ‘BTech degree’ in civil Engineering had shot my dad’s expectations very high.  Ahmmm.

Anyway, so I was supposed to stand shoulder to shoulder with him but I had a toddler and a highly tan prone skin which held me back. So my expertise stayed limited to “approving drawings, designs , fixtures etc. over WhatsApp”. Whenever my dad tried questioning my civil engineering skills & expertise, I started raising some  objections on important issues like -“Having only one call bell for both ground floor and first floor is simply not acceptable !!!!”

No matter how much I tried it was impossible to be much help through WhatsApp and Skype. So this Janmashtami I finally visited home (site). I poured half bottle of sunscreen, put on sun glasses, wore socks , full sleeves dress, a hat ,and  also carried a bottle of water to keep myself hydrated . When I visited the site,almost everything was done, pillars were placed, the structure was already up, marble was laid and painting was going on, and the name plate on solid black granite of the front door was ready.

It read daddy’s and mummy’s name in golden followed by me and my sister’s name.

Tears of happiness fell from my eyes, I would have failed to play my role as a daughter but my dad had been silently playing his role of a father.

Thank you daddy for the gesture.

However my husband complained that his name was not there on the name plate. My younger sister was happy to break the news to him that he is adopted!!!!

Week 19: Breastfeeding- A bond for life.

Next month my baby is turning two. It is the last and crucial phase of breast feeding cycle as I am supposed to completely wean her off. It is not an issue; I have dozen of mothers and relatives who are eager to tell me the tips to successfully do it. Even my doctor has advised me that I should do it as the baby’s nutrition needs are increasing. It is so obvious then why am I still delaying it.

I have had talk with few fellow mommies who proudly shared how they weaned off their baby when he/she was not even one. The reason were varying in nature. Some shared their worries on the embarrassing situation babies cause in public, Some said that baby feeding did not let them attend functions and how after weaning they were free to go anywhere they wanted. Working mommies complained that feeding becomes so tiring at one point of time, and naive ones said that the breast milk is never sufficient for baby as they grow up. Each mother had a different experience to share. I could never speak up what went in my mind until this World Of Mom breast feeding week reminder popped up in my mail box.

I am a working mom and surprisingly my baby has never troubled me when I left for office. She has adjusted well with her Daadi and other family members. I don’t remember her showing any kind of excitement whenever I reach home after a long day. Whenever she needs anything she calls out for the first person she sees. I come in picture only when it’s her nap time, which is twice a day. At that moment she calls my name (literally), crawls on my lap, giggles, fondles and after a lot of buttering asks for her feed. At that moment she doesn’t respond to anyone else. No enticement can take her down from my lap. It is only me and her time. I find these moments best in my entire hectic schedule. So, despite my doctor suggesting for one feed a day, I sneak in two, just to get that time with her.

Nevertheless, I have attended three weddings with her , I have gone shopping , dining, vacationing while feeding her as and when it is required. I never felt shame or embarrassment whether in public or private. My daughter is a very active and smart baby. In these two years i have never worried about running nose or any other immunity issues. I feel so proud when the whole family praises me and link all her traits to breast feeding.

Sometimes I fear that the day I wean her off she will stop coming running to me. Perhaps she will fall asleep without me also. Perhaps I will become just another family member for her. But I am going to take the decision because as always I know what is best for her. I am going to replace our feed time with some other bonding time. I will read to her bedtime stories for a longer time. May be we can take up painting together or may be play peekaboo or do gardening together or splash in the pool or cook yummy food for her …….or may be i can stop being so desperate and realize that I am a mommy and ‘Mommies are irreplaceable’. (Chuckles)

Week-8: Morning walk

IMG_20160521_114207 MORNING WALK- 6×8″ oil on canvas (My first knife painting)

Habits have changed 

I no longer get up early like I did to in those old days 

I miss those morning walks, hours of self-talks

These days neither do I walk nor there is time for self talk. 

It’s hard to get the old habits back

Or Am I just afraid of “some time with self”.

May be I fear I might remind myself of regrets of past  or accuse the neglects of  present or carelessness about future.

Should I confront myself?

Should I go for a morning walk ?

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